whom I will always love

Photo by Tom Cockson

This might be the reason I tend to slept late these past few weeks. I’ve been discovering that night is the best time for me to think. to reflect on what happened to me, to look back. and to think what will happen to me in the future, and look forward.

The silence that night gives me is flawless. up to the point where I can even hear myself breathing.

These past few days, the night had given me time to think, to share what I care about, and it all thanks to god.

Silence is me.


I know you all might think of my like a cry baby. Like I would scared just because of clowns. I don’t but, this situation. With all the people around me keep pressuring me about it. This situation is a very heavy burden for me to carry on for the past few days.


I want to cry so much, I probably could do a a river. I want to scream out loud until all the windows in this building is shattered into tiny little pieces. I want to skip the day so much, I might take tons of sleeping pills. 

Waiting, is the reason I want to do that all. and now, I’m still waiting, and waiting, and still waiting. I just can’t face the reality of what will come to me on that day. I just can’t stand the idea of it. For one moment, I really can’t do it anymore, I almost killed myself. But, I still waiting.


Brandon Flowers and Craig Roberts. Los Angeles, May 2

Wow. Is this real?